"I've never been to rehab, I mean, done it properly. I'm young, and I'm in love, and I get my nuts off sometimes. But it's never been like, 'Amy, get your life together."
The troubled star also explained she was having a difficult time because her husband Blake Fielder-Civil is in prison.
"To be honest, my husband's away, I'm bored, I'm young. I felt like there was nothing to live for. It's just been a low ebb."
This weekend, the singer checked out of another hospital, The London Clinic, where she had been staying for the past few weeks to be treated for the lung disease emphysema.
Winehouse, a multiple grammy winner, performed to 80,000 fans at Glastonbury on Saturday wearing a blue sequinned cocktail dress.
However the performance soured during the end of the set when she lunged into the audience and clashed with an unseen reveller as she sang her most famous hit, Rehab.
After the set, she was whisked back to The London Clinic by helicopter, and 24 hours later she had left the clinic.
Her spokesman said: "Amy did return to hospital after her Glastonbury performance but her doctors recommended that she continue as an outpatient,"
But friends and music bosses fear that she will struggle to keep the drugs away.
Music executives told The Daily Mirror that she was "effectively under house arrest" and being monitored by a security guard, stationed outside her house, to avoid drug dealers coming near her. source
While Winehouse's Saturday isn't really over, her Sunday has begun with a shriek. The tabloids have hit the pavement and slapped her out of her weekend reverie with yet another high-decibel scandal. This time it's photographs and videos — leaked from a lost digital camera — that show Winehouse in various states of dereliction, all shot by her now-imprisoned husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. What's scandalous this time isn't the pictures of Winehouse surrounded by crack pipes (there have been too many of those this year) but a video of her singing to Fielder-Civil a ditty chockablock with racial slurs: "Blacks, Pakis, gooks and nips . . . deaf and dumb and blind and gay," she and a girlfriend sing goofily.
The morning headline reads "Sex, Drugs and Racist Rant," but at Winehouse's place, there's no publicist or manager to be seen, no crisis-management squad deployed to save one of the decade's most successful female vocalists from public shame. That's not Winehouse's style — it's just her and a girlfriend. British singer Remi Nicole pores over the paper, annoyed, telling her friend that all this scandal has to stop.
"All right, Remi, it's over," says Winehouse bluntly.
"No, but how did anyone know about you and Alex and Kristian?" Nicole asks her, referring to alleged extramarital dalliances by Winehouse reported in the press.
"They're, like, all these Chinese whispers," says Winehouse sadly.
"You need to get rid of the cunts around you who whisper," says Nicole, and after a pause, "What's the point of him taking pictures of you with a crack pipe?" referring to Fielder-Civil.
"It wasn't like that, babe," says Winehouse sweetly as she scours the floor in a stupor for a head scarf. "It's important that you know that. You know a lot of things are more casual to me than they are to you."
"Yeah, like smoking crack," Nicole says under her breath.
"It's just incidental," says Winehouse. "He's taking pictures of me because we were on our honeymoon, and he thought I looked pretty." She finds a red scarf with white polka dots, à la Minnie Mouse, and carefully fastens it around her head, tying it in a jaunty bow. Winehouse lifts her black wife-beater and stares at her chest — the tattoo of her husband's name thundering across her heart, barely encased by a gray polka-dot push-up bra. "Should I wear my Spanish top?" she asks no one in particular. Downstairs, a growing pack of paparazzi has gathered in a frenzy, inches from her door, with cameras at the ready, anticipating Winehouse's response.
She smiles, making them wonder if she'll answer, and then wickedly says, "Black Don't Crack."
This past year, Amy Winehouse, 24, has gone from being one of pop music's most ascendant and celebrated talents to a tragicomic train wreck of epic proportions. Winehouse has insisted from the beginning of her career that she is a simple girl crazy in love with her man. Her life, her history and talent all seem barely worth talking about when one could talk about Blake, how fit he is, how perfect for each other they are. "We are so in love, we are a team," she rhapsodizes to me. "Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake, Blake." It's as if she's putting herself in a trance.
"She's on loads of crack, but you can see through that," says Simon Gross, a freelance photographer. "I just want for her to get better. I'm hoping someday for that set of pictures of her riding her bike in the park or something healthy."
In November, he was arrested for the assault of an East End bar owner in June 2006. (Fielder-Civil pleaded guilty.) With her husband gone, Winehouse slid into a despondent place. She canceled her tour at the end of 2007, saying, "I can't give it my all onstage without my Blake." And in January, after a clip of her smoking crack was released to the tabloid The Sun, she was sent to rehab by her record label again. She didn't stay long, and she happily tells me she did drugs the whole time.
This spring brought story after story in the tabloids, parading images of Winehouse wrecked and wretched, usually high and half-naked. There were rumors of extramarital affairs, and she was arrested (and later released) on drug charges and cautioned by police for assaulting a man. Her smacked-out haze of an existence went viral in May, when Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty posted videos on YouTube of the two of them in a dark room playing with just-born mice, their fingernails encrusted in black resin, using the animals as puppets to beg Winehouse's husband not to divorce her. Also in May, Mark Ronson, the DJ and producer who worked with her on her hits, canceled her recording sessions for the title song of the upcoming James Bond film. "I'm not sure Amy is ready to work on music yet," he said at the time. It is now rumored that the wholesome and beautiful young British singer Leona Lewis will replace Winehouse on the Bond song.
Winehouse says all of this is the product of heartbreak from being separated from her true love, whose name appears in a little heart pin she often wears in her hair. "To be honest, my husband's away, I'm bored, I'm young," Winehouse tells me. "I felt like there was nothing to live for. It's just been a low ebb."
Winehouse gets up for more food. Nicole continues the slide show, and suddenly the screen flashes Winehouse's blurry face, taken from above with a phone in one hand and a gigantic penis in her mouth. Nicole and I both look away. "I've never been to rehab, I mean, done it properly," says Winehouse from the kitchen. "I'm young, and I'm in love, and I get my nuts off sometimes. But it's never been like, 'Amy, get your life together. ' "
It's 9 a.m., and outside the last paparazzi leave, shouting up, "Thank you, Amy!" "You're welcome!" she yells back, then she mutters, "You fucking gooks." And cracks up. She thoughtfully calls me a cab and walks me downstairs, inviting me to join her a few days later for a private concert in Moscow, where she will be paid a reported $2 million to play for Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich. (A day later, her manager rescinds the invitation.) After the show, the newspapers report that Winehouse was drunk and Abramovich's organizers were sent into a mad scramble to search for a replacement. They say she played hours late and without underwear. Her publicist, Tracey Miller, dismisses the rumors, insisting it went well. source
